Mother's Day

Mother’s Day

For many Mother’s Day is about celebrating the joys of motherhood. Families go out to dinner to keep Mom from having to cook. She is showered with cards and well-meaning gifts. In general, it is usually always a happy occasion.

However, for some Mother’s Day is the most heart-wrenching day of the year. Instead of celebration of life that makes a woman a mother and the love and dedication that marks a mother, for some it is a moment of reflection and pain. Just over a year old, a friend of mine’s son committed suicide. It was her only child. The sting of losing her only child essentially for a time ripped away her whole sense of motherhood. I remember sitting on the floor talking with her just after her 22 year old shot and killed himself. There was a great deal of sorrow for her, which she battles everyday. She viewed herself first as mother and dedicated her life to helping her son grow and succeed in this world. Tearfully, she told me that she was no longer a mother. I told her that regardless that she would always be a mother. Once a person is a mother, they do not stop being a mother even when their child dies. They continue that motherly love in carrying the flame of memory that was their child’s life in this world. When a mother or father loses a child, it leaves a void, a void that aches louder on family holidays, such as Mother’s Day.

Since I am on such a bleak topic, I wish to remain her for a moment more. May G-d grant strength to a mother of my friend’s friend, who ended his short life tragically this past week. May G-d give her and her family as well those who knew him peace of mind and peace of heart. HaShem is the eternal Judge. My condolences and my heart goes out to all.

For me mother’s day is bitter sweet. I have so many adopted moms that I have no idea what to do with them all. I know I would not be the person I am today without all of them present. Each has shared their home, their table, their wisdom, support and most of all love. I thank G-d for all this (these) blessing(s) in my life.

Yet, mother’s day is not the happy occasion for me. My own mother is distant at best, though I do my best to make her happy like the prescribed holiday states I should. However, my grandmother died on May 11th. In the year she died, I believe she was buried on mother’s day. Since then, Mother’s days haven’t been the happy joyous times. Today, the 18 anniversary of my grandmother’s death fell out on mother’s day. I made it a point to visit the gravesite, leave flowers and say a few words on behalf of my family. From there, I had to go be happy and wonderful for my mother, despite the reflective mood I was in.

In my book, Mother’s Day is a day of remembrance and commemoration to Mothers or Mother like influences.

Fallen Angel